Next Week’s Forecast (and ps I love you)

by


Hello Forever Lover-

(yes I stole that from Michael Jackson)

(or was it Paul McCartney?)

I will not say the words SPR***  hath SPR***

because groundhog is a voodoo warrior and I am just desperate enough for Vitamin D and fancy popsicles to not wanna mess with that shit.

Let’s talk about something else.

Small talk is for meteorologists and dental hygenists.

Other than these previous three snarky paragraphs, this is a proper “news-letter” because 

Hallelujah THERE IS NEWS TO SHARE.

Speaking of meteorology just picture me in a navy blue suit jacket and khakis in front of a home made green-screen I made of leftover easter egg dye and the nasty towel (yeah you got one too.) Imma tell you what fronts are moving in, lover,

whether its cold or balmy and what you need to wear if you’re gonna come PARTICIPATE.

HEADLINE:

May 3rd’s twilight forecast is partly cloudy with a 60% chance of nostalgia. 

Put put on your cute jeans with the Gucci heels and make sure you have an appetite.

MAMA C IS PLAYING A SOLO SHOW. AND YOU ARE HER DATE.

Remember last year when we released 4 records, one for every season?

Remember how crazy that was? You were around for every crest and valley. 

You were there when I went “huh, Synthesizers.” 

You were there when Sasha laid all the acoustic guitar tracks down in the shower.

You were there when I re-learned to play the flute and fell back in love with Jethro Tull. 

You were there.

OH YES YOU WERE.

 

We didn’t really celebrate that.

And if I had a shrink, they’d probably say that was a shame. 

So how about this,

How about you come to Pangea lounge on May 3rd and I’ll play all four FOUR.FOUR EPs in a solo acoustic kind of way while you eat the yummiest pasta and burgers money can buy? 

 

GET A TICKET HERE. But do that quick, because this is an intimate supper club with very limited seating. (i love you.) (I’m supposed to tell you to show up early if you want dinner.) (thank you.)

 

HEADLINE:

May 7th’s forecast is for your inner philomath. That’s right, it’s raining with an 89% chance of ten dollar words. Meet me in a book store. Bring your tweed and meet a really amazing woman. (not me.)

 

 

In all seriousness, my friend, the INCREDIBLE Lauren Marks has just published a memoir about rebuilding her brain, her memories, her life, after a brain aneurism left her aphasic. Lauren is a BRILLIANT writer, a poet, a warrior, and a true friend. And I have the distinct pleasure of playing a short set at her book signing in the city. Come hear her read some excerpts and then stick around for me (maybe doing bonnie tyler covers?)

HEADLINE:

June is set to be TOTAL FREAKING SUNSHINE. But don’t think too much about it because I implore you to be in a dark room with me for two hours. If you think about ONE outfit on this list, think about this one. I am screening a movie I scored with another incredible female friend, Janicza Bravo, and she THE PINNACLE of style. If you wear socks with your loafers you’ll just…..well you’ll just regret it.

 

Omg do you see my teeny tiny name up there?! I circled it. You SEE IT?!

In June at BAM, Janicza and I will be screening a short we made, Man Rots from Head (starring Michael Cera) alongside our first feature that premiered at Sundance this year, Lemon (starring Brett Gelman, Judy Greer, Michael Cera, Jon Daly— and SO many more. There are just too many to mention.)

 

Didn’t know I was a film composer?

 

Hey! Neither did I at first.

Turns out you can teach old dogs.

 

In summation:

 

Good morning. You will have close to whatever experience you go looking for, rain or shine. 

I hope I factor somewhere in there. 

 

 

(green screen off)

(roll credits)

(and VERY DRAMATIC MUZAK)

 

XO

H

 

 

 

Hey! Go visit us, babydoll.

www.heatherchristian.com

www.heatherchristian.bandcamp.com

@hcarbornauts